I've been working on a poem called 'Epiphany' for ages. It started with a single line years ago - "I created my god, who made yours?". And then it just sat there, in an unnamed text file on my computer, until a few months ago, when I suddenly got the inspiration to try and finish it. I haven't yet, or I'd be posting it here, but I did make progress...
Anyway, it struck me that I came up with that line at a time I was still struggling to hold on to the faith I was brought up in; and I started wondering just about when I started questioning religion, when I first departed from the dogmas that had been drilled into me... The funny thing is I can't really pinpoint any specific thing...
If forced to pick a moment, I'd say it was the time I realized the Catholic church isn't half as tolerant as I had idealized it to be - when I was told the official doctrine was that Jesus was the way, the truth and the life, not just a way, a truth or a life.
But that was just part of an awakening I'd been struggling to deny for the longest time... Even when I was a child, I don't recall ever believing in an interventionist god - my god of the time was more of an imaginary friend, to whom I'd retreat and talk about things, especially when I was down about something or the other. Had to deal with a spot of bullying during my first year in a new school, a period when I was my most 'religious' in any sense. But I wasn't at all ritualistic (at least not religiously).
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Well, people usually condemn Church for its dogmas, and the way it survived more than two milleniums controlling and lobotomizing people.
ReplyDeleteYet, i see the bright side: Catholics are everywhere, and their claims are, to those who think, evidently retoric. This lets people be exposed to a CLEAR way of social manipulation, allowing in this way to be more prompted to REBEL against it, and unlock in that way, further rebellions against mind control.
So, yes, Catholicism is a way of manipulating society. It only takes someone to say "hey, god does not forgive as much as it punishes", and then the revolution starts.
wouldnt you say it was worth the ride? In the end, you "awoke", right?
Oh... don't get me wrong... The Catholic faith's constant focus on being rational probably encouraged me more to look at faith rationally which only sped up the process of my awakening.
ReplyDeleteBertrand Russell said something interesting about Christian education in one of his lectures:
"Perhaps you may say that it would be rather a pity if Christian education were to cease, because you would then get no more Rationalists."
And while I believed, I loved it. I exulted in the security of 'knowing' there was something beautiful, of 'knowing' I could be loved no matter what.
I went through a long time of unsurety and wondering if I everyone was right and I should be trying my hardest to hold on to my faith. I hated the effect I knew coming out about it would have on my family and my closest friends (my best friend is training to be a missionary :s). And yet, everything inside me that was clear and rational and thoughtful compelled me to look at things straight and tell myself they were exactly what they were.
Wel, who could blame you? Adan and Eve thought for themselves, and the catholic Go thought that instead of congratulating them, he should expell them from paradise and doom their race with an original sin :P; supposedly, lucifer thought for himself and couldnt understand god's motives, and he not only got expelled too, but he was named number 1 enemy of god :P!!!!
ReplyDeleteIf you're a catholic, you surely don't want to team up with adan, eve and the devil XD. But it's good that some of us do decide to think for ourselves, no matter how promised paradises are taken away from us.
Be well :).